Things I Wish I Knew Sooner About Anxiety
Anxiety doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or visible overwhelm. Sometimes it looks like perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, or feeling constantly exhausted. For a long time, I didn’t even realise what I was experiencing was anxiety. I just thought I was “wired this way”.
If you’re someone who’s been living with anxiety, quietly or loudly, here are a few things I wish I’d known much earlier in my journey.
1. Anxiety is not who you are. It’s what you’ve been through.
For a long time, I thought I was just “a worrier”. That it was part of my personality. But anxiety is not your identity, it’s a response. Often a response to stress, trauma, fear, or growing up in an environment where your nervous system never felt fully safe. When we understand anxiety as a pattern, not a permanent label, we open the door to healing.
2. You don’t have to talk through every trauma to heal from it.
This one’s big. Traditional therapy can be incredibly helpful, but not everyone is ready to talk or even knows where to begin.For me I was fed up of reliving my story and wanted to find a quick way out of the therapy. Some of the most powerful healing I’ve seen, and had, has come from techniques like silent counselling, havening, breathwork, or kinetic shift, where the body and nervous system are allowed to release stress without needing to relive it.
3. Anxiety lives in the body, not just the mind.
You can’t outthink anxiety. You can’t mindset your way out of it when your nervous system is stuck in survival mode. Anxiety shows up in your chest, your gut, your breath, your jaw. That’s why body-based practices, like grounding and breathwork are so important. The body remembers, but it can also let go.
4. People pleasing is a trauma response.
If you constantly avoid conflict, say yes when you mean no, or feel anxious when someone is even slightly disappointed in you, that’s not just being “nice”. It’s your nervous system trying to stay safe by keeping others happy. Understanding this doesn’t make you weak. It makes you aware. And with awareness comes choice.
5. You’re not lazy. You’re overwhelmed.
When anxiety is high, motivation often disappears. Simple tasks can feel like mountains. You might even beat yourself up for not doing enough, but the truth is your system is overloaded. Rest is not laziness. It’s medicine. And the world won’t fall apart if you take a breath and slow down.
6. You don’t need a reason to feel how you feel.
So many of us have learned to dismiss our own emotions because “nothing bad has happened.” But anxiety doesn’t need a headline to be valid. Sometimes it’s the result of years of subtle stress, emotional neglect, or constantly pushing through. Your feelings are real, even if you can’t explain them.
7. You’re allowed to heal. Even if no one else understands.
Maybe your anxiety is invisible to the people around you. Maybe you’re the strong one, the reliable one, the one who “copes”. But just because you’ve learned to hide it well doesn’t mean it’s not exhausting you. You don’t need permission to start healing. You don’t need everyone to get it. This is your journey.
8. Healing doesn’t mean you never feel anxious again.
It means anxiety no longer runs the show. It means you notice the signs earlier. You have tools. You respond instead of react. You don’t spiral as far or stay stuck as long. That’s real progress. That’s healing.
Final Thoughts
If you’re reading this and recognising yourself in any of it, please know you’re not alone. And there is nothing wrong with you. Anxiety is not a personal failure. It’s your body and mind trying to protect you.
But you don’t have to stay in survival mode forever. There are ways to feel safe again, in your mind, in your body, in your life.
That’s the work I do. And I’d love to walk beside you if and when you’re ready.
Ready to begin gently letting go of anxiety?
Send me a message and we can explore how we can work together.
