If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, you’ll know it doesn’t always show up in a full-blown panic attack or an obvious meltdown. Sometimes, it hides in plain sight, in your language, in the way that you speak to yourself, and in the quiet phrases that you whisper under your breath.
The truth is, anxiety has a script. You might not even realise you’ve been reading from it for years. It’s that running commentary that tells you you’re not good enough, that something bad’s bound to happen, or that everyone’s watching, judging, waiting for you to mess up.
And here’s the thing. What we say to ourselves becomes what we believe. Thoughts become feelings, feelings become actions, and actions shape outcomes. If your inner voice is constantly feeding you anxious thoughts, you’re going to feel anxious, even if there’s no real threat in front of you.
So, let’s look at some of the most common things people with anxiety say to themselves, and more importantly, how to reframe them. This isn’t about being unrealistically positive. It’s about shifting your perspective just enough to create space for change.
1. “I can’t do this.”
This is anxiety’s greatest hit. Whether it’s starting a conversation, giving a presentation, going somewhere new, or facing something you’ve been avoiding, anxiety swoops in and declares: “Nope. You can’t.”
And because it feels true, we often believe it. But feelings aren’t facts.
Reframe:
“This feels tough, but I’ve handled worse.”
You’ve made it through difficult days. This moment is uncomfortable, it’s not impossible. You don’t need confidence to take action, you just need a willingness. Strength isn’t the absence of fear. It’s action despite it.
2. “What if I mess it up?”
Here’s the perfectionist’s anthem. It assumes there’s a perfect way to do everything and that any deviation is failure. It’s fear dressed up as high standards.
Reframe:
“Even if I mess it up, I’ll learn something useful.”
Growth comes from those getting it wrong moments. Mistakes are teachers. Nobody ever built confidence from staying in their comfort zone. Progress is messy, and that’s not a problem, it’s part of the process. We have a saying in our house when we learn somethibg new, no matter how big or small, and that is “Every day is a school day”, we are always learning something no matter how big or small and thats where our growth happens.
3. “Something bad’s going to happen.”
Anxiety loves worst case scenarios. It projects forward, it likes a bit of time travel, it invents disaster, and then convinces you it’s just being ‘realistic.’ But worrying doesn’t prevent bad things. It just robs you of your peace now.
Reframe:
“Right now, I’m safe. Right now, things are okay.”
Ground yourself in the present. You’re not in the future, you’re here. And here is where calm lives. Here is where choices happen. When your mind drifts, gently bring it back with your breath, your senses, and the reminder, “In this moment, I am okay.”
4. “Everyone’s going to judge me.”
Whether it’s walking into a room, posting online, or speaking up, anxiety loves to convince you that you’re under the microscope. And worse that everyone’s opinion of you is negative.
Reframe:
“Some people might judge, most won’t even notice, and I’m not here to please everyone.”
Here’s the truth. People are too busy thinking about themselves to obsess over your every move. And even if they do judge? You’ll survive. You don’t need everyone’s approval.
5. “I should be able to cope better than this.”
This one’s full of guilt. It suggests that struggling means failing, that unless you’re thriving all the time, you’re somehow weak. Let’s be clear. That’s nonsense.
Reframe:
“I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got today.”
That’s all anyone can do. And some days, your ‘best’ will look different. Some days your best is showing up, other days it’s resting. Self-compassion isn’t optional when healing from anxiety. It’s essential.
So What’s the Point of Reframing?
This isn’t just about saying nice things to yourself. It’s not about pretending life is always fine. It’s about shifting your lens just enough to open a new door.
Anxious thinking is a pattern, a groove your brain has carved over time. Reframing is how you start to create a new one. It might feel awkward at first, even fake. That’s okay. With repetition, it becomes easier. It becomes familiar. And eventually, it becomes your truth.
It’s a process. One breath, one thought, one moment at a time.
How to Start Practising This Daily
Here’s how you can bring this into your everyday life:
-
Notice the thought. Catch it before it runs the show. Awareness is everything.
-
Pause. Don’t argue with it. Just breathe.
-
Question it. Ask: “Is this thought helpful? Is it true?” Is it kind?
-
Reframe it. Choose a softer, stronger alternative.
-
Repeat. Change comes from practice, not perfection.
Final Thoughts
You are not your anxiety. It may be part of your story, but it doesn’t get to be the whole thing. The way you speak to yourself matters. Every time you challenge an anxious thought, every time you choose a different response you’re reclaiming your power.
You’re not here to shrink. You’re here to rise.
If you’re ready to break free from the anxious patterns holding you back, support is available. This is the work I do, helping people untangle their inner dialogue, shift their mindset, and reconnect with who they truly are beneath the fear.
You don’t have to figure it out alone.
Have a look around the website to find out how we can work together. Or send me a message. Let’s get you back in the driver’s seat of your own mind.
